Recently, the Father’s House started a “3 Word” challenge: to publicly express the 3 words you would use to describe what God has done in you since you began your journey at TFH. The challenge is a lot harder than I would have imagined. To try and express everything that has been developed, grown, challenged and birthed in me over the last several years in 3 words is quite difficult.

The biggest word God has been working in me has been “trust.” I used to claim that I trust quite easily. I think what I should have said is that I love quite easily, I believe-in quite easily, I fall-for quite easily. But trust, I’m learning, requires something that I don’t do very easily: give up control. I find great comfort in being able to control something. I feel fulfilled when something I’m controlling succeeds. I love to have the answers anyone is looking for. I pride myself on being able to do nearly any challenge put before me.

But, sometimes (actually, all of the time) trust, true trust, requires giving up control of something. This is the lesson I’m learning.

I am a big day dreamer. I spend many car drives and many pre-sleep hours in bed allowing myself to “live through” different situations in my head. I’ve always been this way. It’s a nice little escape, but at the same time, these “ideal” situations I dream up have a habit of becoming goals or even worse, become situations I feel nearly entitled to live through in real life. I make the situations in my head so appealing, so fulfilling, so desirable that I begin to truly believe that nothing could be better. That anything I dream up is the absolute best way a situation could be lived out.

I’ve been doing this for years. I can remember being 14 years old and God beginning to reveal small, minuscule parts of His plan for my life. I would get so wrapped up in those tiny tidbits and begin to dream up my ideal life, not realizing that I was building dreams, building my castle, on what was meant to be just a small part of my future. I became like a race horse with the side-blinders on and ran full speed ahead into my tiny tunnel-visioned idea of my future.

As soon as I’d start running, God would go and mess up my plans by showing me something else, another part of His plan for my life. BUT, that didn’t fit into the beautiful dream I just created. It couldn’t possibly be right. I had done such a beautiful job of drafting up a masterpiece blueprint for my next 50 years. I had a lot of trouble realizing that God doesn’t reveal everything all at once. That would require no faith on my part. He reveals whatever I needed for that moment. And, the next moment could require something completely different.

I continued to neglect the fact that God knew better than me. That God could dream bigger than me. That God desired the best for me. That God’s dreams, visions, plans were on a plane entirely different that the small tunnel-vision tidbits I had access to.

I just needed to trust Him. And in order to completely trust Him, I needed to give up control. I needed to put down the pen that was drafting the book of my life and allow Him to be the author. I needed to be content being the character that He was developing. I needed to trust that my Author knew the best way to write my story. He has the most perfect ending. He sees the bigger picture. He has access to all of the behind-the-scenes.

And even bigger than that.

I needed to admit that He could write a better story than I could ever dream up.

So. My Three Words. To describe what God has been doing in me, developing and growing in me over the last several years.

 

Trusting My Author.

Give it a try. You might be surprised by how much He actually loves you and desires for you to live a great story.